Recently I have been noticing a lot situations where I am being pushed into doing things someone else’s way, someone else’s style, on someone else’s timeframe and serving someone else’s agenda.
It was really brought home last night when I attended a motor auction. As a marketing type person I could see through all the ways they manipulate you, but most of all was the overriding sense of urgency. We can’t even say for sure they are doing these things intentionally, it’s just how auctions are. My friends, colleagues and partners are also just doing what they do – there is no sense of manipulation or mallice behind things, they just do what makes sense at the time.
Intentional or not, it makes you uneasy and uncomfortable when it is happening to you.
I have been caught out a lot lately by what Pace and Kyeli brilliantly call the Usual Error. This is both as the person making the error and on the receiving end.
The usual error is essentially thinking the other person likes the same things you do, believes the same thing you do, or behaves how you do.
When you want to make progress the other person will seem to be dragging their heels. If you want to slow things down then you will feel rushed.
Any time you are mega busy then other people just don’t get how crazy things are for you right now, but of course when someone doesn’t respond to you in a timely fashion, well they are just lazy, holding things up and plain rude … right?
So what is the solution?
- Make sure everyone is aware of the situation, especially if you feel under pressure or the other person is not pulling their weight.
- Set deadlines you can all actually keep without breaking under the strain.
- Appraise partners of progress and set the expectation they will do the same.
In the ebook linked above, they recommend we ditch the Golden Rule (treat others as you would like to be treated) in favor of a new rule (treat others as they want to be treated). Works for me.
Keeping partners happy while still getting things done is a key part of being productive and achieving your goals. Click here to see how you can start making more progress right now (see what I did there?)