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Don’t be Pushed – How to Work at Your Own Pace | My Escape Velocity

Don’t be Pushed – How to Work at Your Own Pace

January 13, 2011 by Chris Garrett in Productivity with 7 Comments

Your Pace

Recently I have been noticing a lot situations where I am being pushed into doing things someone else’s way, someone else’s style, on someone else’s timeframe and serving someone else’s agenda.

It was really brought home last night when I attended a motor auction. As a marketing type person I could see through all the ways they manipulate you, but most of all was the overriding sense of urgency. We can’t even say for sure they are doing these things intentionally, it’s just how auctions are. My friends, colleagues and partners are also just doing what they do – there is no sense of manipulation or mallice behind things, they just do what makes sense at the time.

Intentional or not, it makes you uneasy and uncomfortable when it is happening to you.

I have been caught out a lot lately by what Pace and Kyeli brilliantly call the Usual Error. This is both as the person making the error and on the receiving end.

The usual error is essentially thinking the other person likes the same things you do, believes the same thing you do, or behaves how you do.

When you want to make progress the other person will seem to be dragging their heels. If you want to slow things down then you will feel rushed.

Any time you are mega busy then other people just don’t get how crazy things are for you right now, but of course when someone doesn’t respond to you in a timely fashion, well they are just lazy, holding things up and plain rude … right? ;)

So what is the solution?

  1. Make sure everyone is aware of the situation, especially if you feel under pressure or the other person is not pulling their weight.
  2. Set deadlines you can all actually keep without breaking under the strain.
  3. Appraise partners of progress and set the expectation they will do the same.

In the ebook linked above, they recommend we ditch the Golden Rule (treat others as you would like to be treated) in favor of a new rule (treat others as they want to be treated). Works for me.

Keeping partners happy while still getting things done is a key part of being productive and achieving your goals. Click here to see how you can start making more progress right now (see what I did there?)

About Chris Garrett: Chris Garrett is a blogger, new media consultant, teacher, and web geek. If you liked this article, sign up to chrisg.com and get two free ebooks and more great stuff.

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  • http://www.experiate.net Paul Flanigan

    Chris,

    Last week, I said no to a potential client. I did it for the very reason you talk about – the client was moving at a speed that I was uncomfortable with. I did the three-step solution you lay out above, but I also got the very distinct feeling the rules didn’t apply to them.

    I don’t necessarily agree with the new interpretation of the Golden Rule, because it would easily lead down a path of cost/benefit loss – you simply put too much work into treating them the way they want to be treated at the expense of your own happiness. Instead, I suggest a different approach: Treat the situation the way it should be treated. Meaning, both parties determine timelines and deliverables.

    Easier said than done, and OMG was it hard to say no to money, but I was really tired of the stress of chasing them. Seems weird, but I feel like I paid to get rid of the stress. It worked.

    Just some thoughts.

  • http://jwsokol.com Jason Sokol

    Chris,

    Excellent points. I work within an organization that does this all the time to our creatives. It is unfortunate. Instead of planning ahead or consulting with people, sometimes unrealistic promises are made that result in backbreaking deadlines. It’s not always a happy environment.

    I’ve found that we have to step in when necessary, but the better fix comes when we can actually demonstrate what these types of deadlines do to the quality of work.

    @jwsokol

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  • http://ClimbingEveryMountain.com Mary E. Ulrich

    I’ve also heard it explained, “I won’t should on you, if you don’t should on me.”

    You’re right, we have to put ourselves in the other’s place. Thanks.

  • Jack Lynady

    Years ago I read a little book called “The Tyranny of the Urgent”. More applicable now than ever before. thx. for this, Chris

  • http://makingmyownwork.blogspot.com Marly

    Funny you should write about this now, as I’m working on a posting about this subject myself. I don’t really get external pressure to perform or achieved at somebody else’s pace, but I’ve been guilty of pressuring myself at times, because my brain simply will not create on demand, due to various health issues, I guess. (I’d like to think it isn’t just because I’m stupid and lazy!) There are a ton of things I really need to do in order to make myself financially independent, but I have learned to accept that fact that I have to work like a Jack Russel on whatever subject my brain happens to pick at any one time.
    And I think that is true of all of us. As you point out, Chris, you have to go by your own pace. And don’t let anybody push you to work faster, harder, longer, etc. Or conversely, I suppose, don’t let anyone push you to conform to their couch potato standards. Within reason, of course. Life will inevitably happen and change your plans.

  • Susan

    Chris,
    When things don’t work for me I with regard to working with others I find it’s related to being responsive or resistant to the situation at hand. Something I learned to do from the Arbinger Institute training I’ve taken. Often I find it’s some part of my thinking that’s resistant.