Whose permission are you waiting for to start your escape?

“I don’t think I am old enough to call myself an expert yet,” my client said.

I paused for a minute.

“Who exactly is the person conferring expert status on you, and why do you need it?” I replied.

Most of the aspiring entrepreneurs I talk to have anxiety about hanging out their shingle for the first time. They worry that they don’t have enough experience, enough training or enough street credibility to start a business.

This makes sense. Because the only way to gain experience and exposure and street cred is to start your business. But if you haven’t started it, you won’t have the experience. Do you see the deadly loop?

Here are a few ways to stop waiting for someone to give you permission to put your plans into action:

Focus relentlessly on impact

You may not have 10,000 coaching hours under your belt, but can you commit to doing everything in your power to deliver stellar results for your new client? You probably care a lot more about your specific credentials than he does. What he cares about is that you solve his pressing problem. Who cares if your degree doesn’t come from Harvard or you just started your business? Stop worrying about you and just worry about your client.

Prime your mentor network

When I first started consulting, I had my former boss on speed dial. I was leading an executive retreat in New Orleans, and after the first day, I knew I had to make some changes to the next day’s design. But I had no idea what to do. So I called Barb, my former VP, and explained the situation. In two minutes, she gave me an elegant solution, gleaned from 25 years as a seasoned executive. And I fixed the design, had killer results, and a satisfied client at the end of the project. Does it matter that I didn’t have the answer myself? Absolutely not. What was important is that I knew how to get it.

Choose new role models

I admire Seth Godin and Daniel Pink and Kathy Sierra as much as the rest of you. But is it really fair to compare yourself to people who have huge bodies of work, multiple books and legions of fans? Look for others who started their ventures with similar conditions as you (young, or lacking experience, or without resources, or with great personal challenges) and who gave themselves permission to do it anyway. I get strength from Shama Kabani, a 25-year old marketing whiz who grew her digital marketing agency from one to 25 in a few short years. Shama never apologized for her age or considered it a factor barring her from success. The same goes for Brian Wong, one of the youngest entrepreneurs to get venture funding, or Ramit Sethi, who built his successful blog into a NYT bestselling book  and personal finance business. Daymond John didn’t care that he had no experience, funding or status in the design community when he launched FuBu. He knew his market, and transformed his $40 investment into a billion-dollar brand.

Official permission granted

If you still feel you need official permission to get started, please use this form letter to craft a note to yourself, from yourself:

Dear Me:

By the authority vested in me, and only me, I hereby grant you permission to (fill in the blank) (start your business), (launch your website), (write your book), (begin your nonprofit), (go for the big job).

I understand you do not currently have all the skills, resources or experience to launch this new venture. Fear not, for the only way to gain them is to start today, without hesitation, and without regret.

And if, in your pursuit to change the world for the better, create jobs, change minds or solve problems, you do not meet your goals, I offer this disclaimer:

Welcome to the human race.

In complete confidence of your ability to kick ass,

-Me

  • http://www.nickvmedia.net/twitter-landing-page.html Nick Venturella

    Great post. Thank you for writing that. Perhaps several of us EV blog readers can be each others’ mentors…I’m sure there are several of us in a similar boat. I know I’d like to connect with a few.

  • http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/2010/10/22/new-hub-of-forward-momentum-escape-velocity/ New hub of forward momentum: Escape Velocity

    [...] My first post is now live – click on the title to go read it! Whose permission are you waiting for to start your escape? [...]

  • http://topsy.com/myescapevelocity.com/whose-permission-are-you-waiting-for-to-start-your-escape?utm_source=pingback&utm_campaign=L2 Tweets that mention Whose permission are you waiting for to start your escape? | My Escape Velocity — Topsy.com

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Pamela Slim and Susan Baier, Jennifer Costello. Jennifer Costello said: LOVE IT! RT @pamslim: my first post on #EscapeVelocity: Whose permission are you waiting for to start your escape? http://ow.ly/2Y2nP [...]

  • http://www.coachtia.com Tia “Sparkles” Singh

    Fantastic!! The only way to get somewhere is to start somewhere. Fear is part of the journey and that’s why it’s vital to surround yourself with a support system.

    I was at a WE event in Vancouver where I watched Al Gore speak some words of wisdom “If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together, and it’s now time to go fast and far”.

    Pretty cool ay. Loving this new venture with all of you and the 3 C’s! That makes me giggle :D Chris cubed!

  • Anonymous

    Love it, Pam! Observation: looking for permission is an endless pit. I always laugh and cringe at the same time when I (oh, so often) see phrases like, “So what if your degree isn’t from Harvard?” As a graduate of Stanford, I can tell you – there is no permission or feeling thereof that kicks in when one graduates from an elite school. In fact, it can be quite the opposite, a serious feeling of inadequacy that comes from comparing oneself with those fellow alumni who do fit the profile of having started 3 million dollar companies before age 21, winning the National Book Award, or whatever.

    I had coffee with a friend yesterday (Princeton ’86) and we discussed this very thing. To the extent that the degree matters (and I’m not dismissing the idea that it is a privilege and sometimes a help), it matters most in a very narrow range of situations – the most significant of which is precisely the world(s) your readers are now trying to escape FROM!

  • Anonymous

    Hah, good point Barbara! But what is fascinating is that most people construct a perfect set of ingredients (great school, popular blog, good cheekbones, connections) that they feel they MUST have to be successful. And then, as you said, those that may have those ingredients still feel like a scared fraud. So there is no perfect time or set of conditions to really move — and when you give YOURSELF permission, it feels so much better. :)

  • Anonymous

    Great idea Nick! I love the peer mentor circles. My circle helps every day, in so many ways!

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for stopping by! And yes, apparently the only prerequisite as a male writer for this blog is that your name is Chris. :)

  • http://twitter.com/LittleWordGods Little Gods Author

    Yea. Thanks so much for this great post, Pam. Did you and Charlie sync up on the whole “permission” thing? Eh? His post asked a question like, “what permission are you waiting for?” And you nailed my answer – I’m been waiting for permission to call myself and expert. No matter that I have 15 years in sales & marketing, 10 as a full-time writer and more than 15 as a coach and workshop leader – e-gads! Thanks for the permission slip – evidently it was just what I needed.

  • http://twitter.com/pamslim Pamela Slim

    Charlie and I talk about permission all the time, so it is not a coincidence that this word would pop up in both our blog posts. :)

    Isn’t it funny how quickly we forget the YEARS of experience that proceed a new endeavor? Go forth and create!

    Thanks for giving yourself permission to kick ass. :)

  • http://www.ryanrenfrew.blogspot.com Ryan Renfrew

    Hey Nick, great idea, look forward to connecting with you.

  • http://www.ryanrenfrew.blogspot.com Ryan Renfrew

    Great post Pamela, I love the permission letter, just great. And thats the hardest part – just getting off your but and giving it a shot. I recently wrote a blog article about procrastination id love to share with you http://ryanrenfrew.blogspot.com/2010/10/will-i-procrastinate-now-or-do-it.html

  • http://www.blog.chrisehyoung.com/ Chris Eh Young

    I’m going to print the letter and mail a copy to myself every week as a constant reminder. Thanks for the letter and the warm welcome to the human race. I feel like I belong here now.

  • http://twitter.com/bryanmwilson Bryan Wilson

    Freaking love this! We get so bogged down by our own self dobt sometimes that it keeps us from our dreams. Im sharing this with at least 5 people today. :-)

  • Stacey

    Hi Pam,

    Thanks so much for a thoughtful post. I was intrigued by your mention of Kathy Sierra and I followed your link but it led to a now defunct blog. I then googled her and also came to a dead end. Any idea how to follow her present work? Thanks again for a great post.

  • http://twitter.com/BobInMotion Bob Wilson

    Somewhat related to this great post… I recently had the opportunity to speak to a local chapter of the PRSSA about social media projects. One of the things I tried to emphasize is even if the students are interns, they have experience with social media that many working, older people don’t have. I encouraged them to be vocal and confident about their experience and not discount themselves because of age, position, whatever. I hope they remember what I said when that day comes.

  • Glad Doggett

    Loving this post. I need to print it out, post it on my mirror and read it frequently until it sinks in.

  • http://www.currieclinicalconsulting.com Natalie Currie

    Just like your biz card and Hugh MacLeod says: you don’t need permission you just need to act! Grateful for the nudge. Focus, Prime, Choose.

  • http://consultantlaunchpad.com/2010/10/23/must-read-posts-new-consultants/ Must Reads for New Consultants and Small Businesses: Oct. 17-23 — Consultant Launch Pad

    [...] Whose Permission Are You Waiting For?  Another strong contribution to the bookmarkable Escape Velocity blog, this one from Pam Slim (the author of Escape From Cubicle Nation), who talks about the anxiety that many of her coaching clients feel about launching their new businesses.  This post provides some good actionable steps for getting past that fear.  [...]

  • Lisasews2002

    the letter is totally on target for my situation.

  • http://www.bripblap.com/updates-summer-in-october-and-links/ updates, summer in October and links | brip blap

    [...] Whose permission are you waiting for to start your escape? :  I know in my case if I have any permission required to move away from my primary consulting work, it’s entirely internal.  I imagine most people who are “stuck” in lines of work they don’t care for that much may claim it’s the mortgage or the kids’ college funds or the car payment or whatever, but at the end of the day you have to give yourself permission. [...]

  • http://Cate.TV/ Cate.TV

    Ditto! :) Great post Pamela :)

  • http://www.confabulicious.com Kimbaustin

    I just love this. I have never been a “permission seeker”. I launched my first business at 23 and had 30 employees a few years later.

    I love change and challenge and view it as an opportunity to grow and learn. My latest undertaking is getting back in shape BEFORE New Year’s because my booty has been in the chair too much from blogging. That’s beside the point, but the process I am using can be followed by any one who wants to create lasting change.

    I can’t wait to see how this all evolves! Count me in.
    Kim Bauer
    http://www.confabulicious.com

    http://www.confabulicious.com/have-a-goal-you-want-to-achieve-here-are-3-simple-steps-to-create-lasting-change/

  • Timeshowhost

    Okay, how about part two of the process. I just signed a major client to a major contract. My first such experience. My post-reaction is what I call the “I’m not worthy”. But working on the project has reaffirmed my competency on the project.

  • http://favoritehomeremedies.com/weight-loss/updates-summer-in-october-and-links updates, summer in October and links | Favorite Home Remedies

    [...] Whose permission are you waiting for to start your escape? :  I know in my case if I have any permission required to move away from my primary consulting work, it’s entirely internal.  I imagine most people who are “stuck” in lines of work they don’t care for that much may claim it’s the mortgage or the kids’ college funds or the car payment or whatever, but at the end of the day you have to give yourself permission. [...]

  • http://www.womanzworld.com/ Natalie Sisson

    Pam your wise words and story telling never fail to cut to the core of the matter – everybody has a special talent and skill set that they can share with the world, no matter how new they are to it.

    The trick is, as you say doing it that much better than everyone else or delivering on some unique aspect that will ingratiate you to those that work with you.

    Liking this blog already!

    Natalie

  • Anonymous

    Hi Stacey! Kathy’s story is a little complex – she was an amazing, revered blogger for a long time, then got a series of death threats from a troll and decided to stop blogging. We have wanted to see her come back, but totally respect her choice to manage her life the way she needs to. She does speak at tech conferences like SXSW – hopefully you will be lucky enough to meet her one of these days!

blog comments powered by Disqus